tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4639508698851594132024-03-13T13:31:40.832-07:00Cleaving TogetherStrengthening MarriageJennifer Rickshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02992263867559216358noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-463950869885159413.post-27266328216844672292010-12-08T13:59:00.000-08:002010-12-08T13:59:30.173-08:00Shining as a Nightlight“We need a nightlight,” my husband said.<br />
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“A nightlight?” I repeated blankly. We were grownups—I hadn’t had a nightlight since I was about five. “Uh, honey,” I asked, “are you afraid of the dark?” <br />
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“No, no, no,” my husband replied. He explained that we needed something so neither of us ran into anything if we had to take a trip to the bathroom in the middle of the night.<br />
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That seemed logical. In our newlyweds’ studio apartment we only had windows in the living room. The bathroom around the corner was completely dark at night.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsDJmRXlRJb9jNzk6itS79ciNo7oxWKAHvL87fg6tjW_pziPeB3FH6wgL0FtYrd2j70lzpFk7juKapPrad7aOro-Ygah1YnDB30ifHUVZMYIXb0hSM-fhe9BEyt63c-VUN5H-JU-dK_VEx/s1600/a.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsDJmRXlRJb9jNzk6itS79ciNo7oxWKAHvL87fg6tjW_pziPeB3FH6wgL0FtYrd2j70lzpFk7juKapPrad7aOro-Ygah1YnDB30ifHUVZMYIXb0hSM-fhe9BEyt63c-VUN5H-JU-dK_VEx/s200/a.png" width="132" /></a>The next day I bought a nightlight at the grocery store. When my husband got home that evening I realized that the least expensive nightlight might not have been the right choice. He looked at the package, and his face fell with disappointment.<br />
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“Will it be enough light?” he asked.<br />
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His question was just. The nightlight was round and very small, small enough to plug in the wall and not block the second electrical outlet. <br />
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“Well,” he said, “we can try it anyway and if it doesn’t give enough light then we’ll just have to buy something else.”<br />
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It was still early evening in the summer and very light outside, but we plugged the nightlight in the bathroom anyway. My husband was right. The little nightlight was feeble, even pathetic. I chalked the whole experience up as a lesson to improve my inadequate homemaking skills and tried to forget about it until I would have to go back to the store and buy a better nightlight the next day.<br />
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However, my second trip to the store to buy a nightlight never happened. We went to bed as usual that night, and I was grateful that my housekeeping failure didn’t keep me from sleeping soundly through the night. When we woke up in the morning, my husband was beaming at me.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRwlfUSYUZwoDsCr8Om7gkexgzBQmgu0G5CrPQAlQRzUE123cvlA2D4np-bX-wPG4ILdb9Mxzbp2N494o8x-QKZejwAaWUbIpWDYo0Br9wuIXmdldZ3bkypNr5-S7CZbmpJf-ImBHXnPqY/s1600/b.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="133" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRwlfUSYUZwoDsCr8Om7gkexgzBQmgu0G5CrPQAlQRzUE123cvlA2D4np-bX-wPG4ILdb9Mxzbp2N494o8x-QKZejwAaWUbIpWDYo0Br9wuIXmdldZ3bkypNr5-S7CZbmpJf-ImBHXnPqY/s200/b.png" width="200" /></a>“It’s great!” he said happily.<br />
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“What are you talking about?” I yawned.<br />
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“The light!” he said. “It works!”<br />
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I slightly stumbled to the bathroom. The nightlight was still there and still gracing the room with its feeble orange glow. “It looks the same to me,” I said, “pathetic.”<br />
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“That’s because it’s morning!” my husband replied triumphantly, “but in the dark it’s just what we need!”<br />
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The next night, when I had to make my own nighttime pilgrimage, I learned for myself that the nightlight was a brilliant success. When the rest of the world was light, the nightlight looked too weak to be helpful at all, but in the middle of the night, when it was the only source of light in sight, it was just want we needed. <br />
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Thinking on this experience, it’s important to remember that the nightlight’s glow never changed. Even though at night it seemed as if it was brighter, in actuality its light was the same at all hours of the day; only its surroundings, and the circumstances that we perceived it in, changed between day and night.<br />
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We have used this trusty nightlight in three different apartments now. Whenever we move, it’s one of the last things we pack and one of the first things we unpack. I never think about that nightlight during the day; during daylight hours it’s just a regular thing plugged into our bathroom wall, almost unneeded. At night, however, that nightlight is a trusted, helpful friend.<br />
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As I crept past it back into bed one night, I realized that there are many friends, people, and things in my life that I often take for granted when the sun is shining but that, like my nightlight, are always dependable and keep me safe and comforted whenever darkness falls.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhosQ7eco3x0glDuDiITEoKfa4VUf7JxVg7oJYR0-LWntqQNWchERZb9NPvSb9m2Xrk20tTv1dlgm8b3gOpM_A0VY4QLhyphenhyphen_H8Xlxor-gWJ11kuzhwbrQKzWLenBp3Pckq-Ym-5KlH1YdmII/s1600/c.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="168" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhosQ7eco3x0glDuDiITEoKfa4VUf7JxVg7oJYR0-LWntqQNWchERZb9NPvSb9m2Xrk20tTv1dlgm8b3gOpM_A0VY4QLhyphenhyphen_H8Xlxor-gWJ11kuzhwbrQKzWLenBp3Pckq-Ym-5KlH1YdmII/s320/c.png" width="320" /></a>In the New Testament, Jesus talks a lot about light. In Matthew 5:14 he says this well-known verse: “Ye are the light of the world. A city that is set on an hill cannot be hid.” Although I’ve always loved views of city lights at night, I’ve never felt as strong or brilliant as an entire city. My nightlight has reminded me that that’s not what Jesus expects of me or what that verse really means. Verse 15 is also important: “Neither do men light a candle and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that are in the house.”<br />
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We don’t use candles as our primary source of light anymore, but we can still draw some meaningful conclusions from Christ’s analogies about light. Putting a candle under a bushel doesn’t just hide it from view; under a bushel, the flame won’t have enough oxygen to burn and will go out. Additionally, a short, stubby candle gives a lot less light than a long, tapered candle on a candlestick. A candle under a bushel gives very little light (and eventually none). A candle on a candlestick gives as much light as its solitary flame can. On a candlestick, the candle is reaching its full potential of light.<br />
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What Christ teaches in these verses about light, how each of us can shine to light the world with truth and goodness, brings my thoughts back to my trusty nightlight. There are so many people in my life that have been nightlights for me—always plugged in. Even though by themselves they aren’t an entire city to shine on the dark horizon, and when the sun is shining they don’t seem that important, there are many of these individuals whose constant shine has comforted, guided, and protected me when darkness came into my life.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXMVDVanZE-i4msQWN_mS8ThjLTKZr_BmXGIiUFTobkPhyNAxLLwAW1wjmw17o2yJJEExH6rd7smlc1ZvatO-cJYPotu-PJPduV-05zJg2ujxEjtcsgwNx6fiWkZEboOEmisfVvhMqCiRQ/s1600/d.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXMVDVanZE-i4msQWN_mS8ThjLTKZr_BmXGIiUFTobkPhyNAxLLwAW1wjmw17o2yJJEExH6rd7smlc1ZvatO-cJYPotu-PJPduV-05zJg2ujxEjtcsgwNx6fiWkZEboOEmisfVvhMqCiRQ/s200/d.png" width="133" /></a>One person that has been a nightlight in my life is a friend I grew up with. We lived in the same ward as long as we both could remember. Although we sometimes hung with different social crowds, I knew that I could always rely on this friend, especially spiritually. Even though I felt like a shy caterpillar where she was a social butterfly, we still talked about everything. We went to church and young women’s together every week. We both were faithful in our seminary attendance, even if we weren’t in the same class every year. We talked about our dating standards and every other important decision we had to make in our teenage years. We relied on each other and knew that we could be strong and choose the right if for nothing else because we knew that the other would. <br />
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There are other people in my life that have stood as faithful examples, constant nightlights, for me—family members, ward members, mentors, and other friends. When all other lights seem to go out, or even if I was feel a little dim myself, these nightlights have shown through the darkness when I needed comfort and guidance the most.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipPKSgSlNP32KmHMJqpWx1AS8Z3cGxh_rqMMntbTFP9aSURhdcQkYoWbvIxE-U4YGx3QRTP6pwNY2ozroL5uGvA4Uf21azN2ezn8u2EdL7YwPJHCDhUS8gD3LpFojwuYmH24ZFykWQfzYN/s1600/e.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipPKSgSlNP32KmHMJqpWx1AS8Z3cGxh_rqMMntbTFP9aSURhdcQkYoWbvIxE-U4YGx3QRTP6pwNY2ozroL5uGvA4Uf21azN2ezn8u2EdL7YwPJHCDhUS8gD3LpFojwuYmH24ZFykWQfzYN/s200/e.png" width="161" /></a>What is a lighted city on a hill? It isn’t just one person; it was never meant to be. The lighted city that Christ talks about is a simple candle on a candlestick, or a steady nightlight, shining out from every home. One nightlight at a time makes up that shining city on the hill. In the daytime, when there is a greater light all around, the smaller lights don’t seem that important, but at night, all together, they make a huge impact on the skyline. Banded together, we can each be a light to the world as each of our homes shine together in our wards, stakes, communities, and nations. Individually we can each be nightlights to each passerby when we follow the Savior’s words to “Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven” (Matthew 5:16).<br />
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<span style="font-size: xx-small;"><i>Image copyright by Microsoft Corporation. Available in Microsoft Word Clip Art Galleries.</i></span>Jennifer Rickshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16893901588875111664noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-463950869885159413.post-40006457919108455242010-07-19T16:16:00.000-07:002010-07-19T16:22:16.945-07:00Scripture Study in the CarNever a Sunday goes by when we aren’t reminded how important daily scripture study is for us as individuals and families. Our leaders teach us how important scripture study is to keeping close to the Lord, His Spirit, and the personal revelation we need so badly to navigate ourselves and our families safely through a troubled world. Elder Bruce R. McConkie stated, “I sometimes think that one of the best-kept secrets of the kingdom is that the scriptures open the door to the receipt of revelation” (<em>Doctrines of the Restoration</em>, ed. Mark L. McConkie, Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1989, p. 243).<br /><a href="http://blogs.philadelphiaweekly.com/trouble/files/2009/05/03-driving-us-course_l2_w728_h340.jpg"><img style="MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 326px; FLOAT: right; HEIGHT: 115px; CURSOR: hand" border="0" alt="" src="http://blogs.philadelphiaweekly.com/trouble/files/2009/05/03-driving-us-course_l2_w728_h340.jpg" /></a><br /><div><div>When my husband and I were first married, we knew that taking time for scripture study early in the day was important for our family, but we struggled to find time for it. It seemed we were always running late to get to school or work on time. </div><div><br />Elder Nelson has taught that “time for scripture study requires a schedule that will be honored” and that “you [should] shape the style of your study to fit you” (Russell M. Nelson, “Living by Scriptural Guidance,” <em>Ensign</em>, Nov 2000, 16–18). As a couple, we brainstormed and decided that our time and style of daily family scripture study would be possible in the morning in the car on the way to our daily tasks. My husband could drive while I read from the scriptures, Church magazines, or Church manuals. Although it was sometimes short and maybe not ideal, for the first time ever, our family scripture study became consistent. Sometimes we only read a few verses or a small part of a lesson or article, but as scripture study in the car became part of our routine, some amazing things happened.<br /></div><div>We started savoring every minute we had to read the scriptures together in the car. In fact, traffic was no longer a problem because slow-downs just meant that we would have more time for scripture study. In addition, we started valuing the time we could make to discuss what we were reading as much as the time we had to read. Soon our scripture study discussions continued as we crossed the parking lot after we finished driving. Then we started coming back to the discussion during our lunch break and throughout the day. Eventually we started reading scriptures in the car on the way home and making more time for scripture study at home. These gems of family scripture study experiences helped us glimpse what Elder Nelson and his wife felt when he said “We shudder to think what might have happened if we had quit trying [to have family scripture study]. We all need guidance through life. We obtain it best from the standard works and teachings of the prophets of God.”<br /></div><div>Simply starting and committing to a habit of family s<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYduTV1MJE2BpDc97TFFI2Vh0X-3kA44egn32OHG75xO-o_jyn_-C31ydcaDdSWomlpmKtzwLD18UEaNtDpmlF1XRfmG01USwQ016JOb7EsbPLRZ1MwlLdCeBxRNCZoPrbf7Ac5x88sK0/s400/lds_scriptures.jpg"><img style="MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 253px; FLOAT: left; HEIGHT: 134px; CURSOR: hand" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYduTV1MJE2BpDc97TFFI2Vh0X-3kA44egn32OHG75xO-o_jyn_-C31ydcaDdSWomlpmKtzwLD18UEaNtDpmlF1XRfmG01USwQ016JOb7EsbPLRZ1MwlLdCeBxRNCZoPrbf7Ac5x88sK0/s400/lds_scriptures.jpg" /></a>cripture study immediately blessed our family and made us excited to do more to make time for gospel study as part of our family’s habits. Elder Oaks has said that by reading the scriptures “again and again” in daily scriptures study, “we obtain access to what our Heavenly Father would have us know and do in our personal lives today” (Dallin H. Oaks, “Scripture Reading and Revelation,” <em>Ensign</em>, Jan 1995, 7). </div><br /><div></div><div>Scripture study in the car has been a small and simple thing that has taught us the value of consistent scripture study and discussion in our family and encouraged us to find even more time for family scripture study. As Elder Bednar has said, “Each family prayer, each episode of family scripture study, and each family home evening is a brushstroke on the canvas of our souls. No one event may appear to be very impressive or memorable. But just as the yellow and gold and brown strokes of paint complement each other and produce an impressive masterpiece, so our consistency in doing seemingly small things can lead to significant spiritual results” (David A. Bednar, “More Diligent and Concerned at Home,” Ensign, Nov 2009, 17–20). </div></div>Jennifer Rickshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02992263867559216358noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-463950869885159413.post-13777353504816861192009-12-28T12:02:00.000-08:002009-12-28T13:06:18.734-08:00Great Marriage Goals for the New Year<span style="font-size:85%;"><em>The content of this article has been adapted/expanded from "Simple Yet Powerful New Year's Revolutions" by Jim, originally article available </em></span><a href="http://www.the-intimate-couple.com/The_Intimate_Couple_EZine-intimate-couple-e-zine-December-Issue-2-2009.html"><span style="font-size:85%;"><em>here</em></span></a><span style="font-size:85%;"><em>.</em></span><br /><div><div><br /><div></div><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 266px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5420396144074403938" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0dwo2IfSS3osMzx0vJUGYAZqvoyGptvEEze8yW4hBRsQ4lCT5YtTRwWdu1W3wUkFqtUn0lNbDQV3kJgpdLZlt6PSU6xkJafbMIjSY087mFahpVqNGstlrJQQ4lNBvuK_E38z8nxyGZq8/s400/couple.bmp" /> <div><span style="font-size:130%;">Great Marriage Goals for the New Year</span></div><br /><div></div><div><strong><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiqkMFXiI4HI1EauSe2I3YXTU0uc4L3WgV8Fjn0TE__UZZXXPsT_MMVONBku9U63szPn7fXo-LQWv3K75RuDS4ZfLkhi9m-02nC_yf6zoU1sF1Z8frHUcrigApCw1jlh8myQv_9GuHze4/s1600-h/couple.bmp"></a>1. Regularly show that you love your spouse.</strong></div><br /><div></div><div>• <u>Daily</u>: Say, “I love you!” at least three times a day. </div><div></div><br /><div>• <u>Daily</u>: Say "I love you!" through touch. A soft stroke or caress on the cheek, arm, or shoulder as you’re passing by says, “I acknowledge you and value you!”</div><br /><div></div><div>• <u>Weekly</u>: Say "I love you!" through written communication. Try email, a post-it note, a secreted love letter, a message on the bathroom mirror or window, Facebook, a hidden card in a lunch box, or a card slipped in a purse.</div><div></div><br /><div><strong>2. Rekindle the Flame of Courtship</strong></div><br /><div></div><div>• Open the door for your wife (both at home and at the car) .</div><br /><div></div><div>• Kiss your wife/ husband goodbye each time you leave home.</div><br /><div></div><div>• Hold hands as much as possible.</div><br /><div></div><div>• Pray together before bed.</div><div></div><br /><div>• Call your wife/ husband during the day for no other reason than to keep in touch.</div><div></div><br /><div>• Take time to properly greet your spouse after work. Hug, kiss, and cuddle. Take just a few minutes give undivided attention to each other and share news.</div><div></div><br /><div><strong>3. Plan a Getaway</strong></div><br /><div></div><div>• Sit down together with your spouse and plan a weekend away as your own personal mini-marriage retreat.</div><br /><div></div><div>• Be creative to stick within your financial means. Have the kids away for a weekend, and just stay home—but refuse to answer the phone, get distracted by email or Facebook, or watch TV. Or plan a night window shopping at a favorite store, a picnic at the park, or a candlelit dinner and special movie. Even a romantic stoll can be a great mini-getaway.</div><br /><div></div><div><strong>4. Read a marriage enrichment book together.</strong></div><br /><div></div><div>• Read aloud and take turns reading a few pages a night.</div><br /><div>• Allow the book to open discussion topics. Make comments and suggestions on how your marriage is going and how you might apply the material to your relationship.</div><div></div><br /><div><strong>5. Say "Thank You"</strong></div><br /><div></div><div>• Take time to thank your spouse for making and keeping these relationship goals with you.</div><br /><div>• Say "Thank you" for the little things your spouse does to help you and show love to you throughout the day. Never take your marriage for granted!</div></div></div>Jennifer Rickshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02992263867559216358noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-463950869885159413.post-16400979431570010662009-09-03T11:29:00.001-07:002009-09-03T11:32:15.954-07:00The Good Old Days?<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEix28IY-tQ23vAnVyfkewGwdeJi0SJ9Lja5Hu91m9E8S9WMQV771Cj9Lu4jDaLOSmNd_xPsh39Ta_VSiEWTCPQ_fAOjYUPSp-G2GVMN-u_emxmEDbYJHPnMpjnX_L09SNjFYgMq5-gLlr8/s1600-h/marriageadvice%5B9%5D.png"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 344px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 400px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5377310621402412546" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEix28IY-tQ23vAnVyfkewGwdeJi0SJ9Lja5Hu91m9E8S9WMQV771Cj9Lu4jDaLOSmNd_xPsh39Ta_VSiEWTCPQ_fAOjYUPSp-G2GVMN-u_emxmEDbYJHPnMpjnX_L09SNjFYgMq5-gLlr8/s400/marriageadvice%5B9%5D.png" /></a> <div><div>This is so funny. I especially love, "If he is unhappily devoid of the colour sense, he must be forcibly restrained" and "Manliness is not a purely physical quality." </div><div><br />P.S. I wish my husband was "successful with his chickens" just so I could tell him so!</div></div>Jennifer Rickshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02992263867559216358noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-463950869885159413.post-32935359741050277502009-03-23T08:27:00.000-07:002009-03-23T08:29:31.212-07:00Book Review: The Relationship Seasons, by Matthew O. Richardson<span style="font-size:85%;"> The Relationship Seasons: Navigating the 5 Stages of Relationships by Matthew O. Richardson. Published in 2008 by Leatherwood Press (Sandy, UT). ISBN: 978-1-59992-017-7. $16.95, 192 pages.</span><br /><br /><a href="http://deseretbook.com/images/product-images/23/3332/4959380_list.jpg"><img style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 88px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 117px" alt="" src="http://deseretbook.com/images/product-images/23/3332/4959380_list.jpg" border="0" /></a>The Relationship Seasons is an instructive, doctrinal-based guide to romantic relationships. The back cover identifies Richardson’s audience as those seeking romantic relationships, involved in romantic relationships, “or trying to guide [their] children through the dating years.” Although Richardson’s instruction is sound, helpful, and encouraging, his audience is a little mixed. His first few chapters seem to be only for parents while the rest of the book is better instruction for young people. It takes a bit of navigating to find the right places in the book that apply to you, but then Richardson’s ideas are very helpful. This confusing of audiences makes you wish Richardson had written two books—one for parents and one for young people—rather than trying to tackle both audiences in The Relationship Seasons. As it is, each audience will just have to point themselves to the applicable part of the book for themselves, after which they will surely find great counsel and instruction.Jennifer Rickshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02992263867559216358noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-463950869885159413.post-20965166900069460532008-12-18T12:03:00.000-08:002011-07-06T11:17:36.566-07:00Book Review: Behind the Smiling Faces<span style="font-size: 85%;"><i>Behind the Smiling Faces: An LDS Perspective on Marriage and Divorce</i> by Renita Clark Cassidy and Alan Cassidy, 264 pages. Published by Leatherwood Press (Sandy, UT), 2008. ISBN: 978-1-59992-127-3. Retail price: $16.95.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhO5VXOvA0FzK_1OhJrYz76NBugk2V8xkkqQnkvqeQdcpVKMTMQ_XzNml_jGsmYsXJ_-GU_rMBR0Q1Mau0t7eWLEpXza9sN7IdWIfjmvx6E5GOamR8aDrXVWbK9mBnxNDXWo_MhmM51CIo/s1600-h/resizeall.jpg"><i><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5281229548549792690" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhO5VXOvA0FzK_1OhJrYz76NBugk2V8xkkqQnkvqeQdcpVKMTMQ_XzNml_jGsmYsXJ_-GU_rMBR0Q1Mau0t7eWLEpXza9sN7IdWIfjmvx6E5GOamR8aDrXVWbK9mBnxNDXWo_MhmM51CIo/s400/resizeall.jpg" style="float: right; height: 200px; margin: 0px 0px 10px 10px; width: 130px;" /></i></a><i>Behind the Smiling Faces</i> contains advice, instruction, and experiences from eleven marriage and counseling professionals and over eighteen “ordinary” Latter-day Saint couples. Even if the title is misleading and the book’s scope is very broad, the wide-ranged and varied content of<i> Behind the Smiling Faces </i>accomplishes the goal of the authors to represent the “people” we see all the time—“the men and women who worship with you on Sunday. . . . your family and friends. . . .[or] even you” and how “some . . . smiles reflect and inner peace and joy” while other “smiles mask . . . pain” (11).<br />
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My assumption in reading the title of this book, and seeing the cover photograph, was that it would be a depressing soapbox about how the common LDS view of the importance of a “perfect” marriage is flawed. This assumption was incorrect. Instead, this book is a compilation of information striving to demonstrate the realities of marital challenges and joys in an LDS context.<br />
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What’s the difference? For the most part, <i>Behind the Smiling Faces</i> is very encouraging, despite what the cover art depicts. I loved reading the advice from LDS marriage and counseling professionals included in Behind the Smiling Faces, many of whose books I have also read or heard of.<br />
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The biggest problem I found with this book is the scope is extremely broad. At first I felt like the book was written for people preparing for marriage, then for people who were married and needed advice and encouragement (don’t we all?), then for people who were thinking about divorce, and then for people who have already gone through a divorce. Because <i>Behind the Smiling Faces</i> tries to cover all of these circumstances, I wouldn’t feel comfortable giving it to anyone in any of those groups. For example, the divorce parts would be big downers for people preparing to get married, and the marriage prep advice would be salt in the wound for recent divorcees.<br />
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Thus the only audience that <i>Behind the Smiling Faces</i> fits is marriage enthusiasts, like the authors, professionals quoted in the book, and anyone else interested in learning everything the authors could think to include about an LDS perspective on marriage, but readers would need to be without any severe emotional ties to the topic.<br />
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I was also disappointed that most of the book is in interview format—questions followed by answers. I would prefer that the marriage and counseling professionals and interviewed couples would have just written their own chapters instead of the authors breaking up what they have to say.<br />
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<i>Behind the Smiling Faces</i> is far from a bad read, but it is confusing. Reading the author’s preface, “Words to the Why’s” (besides the fact that it should be "Whys") is definitely essential and helped me realize what the book was trying to do. I loved the compilation-type content from LDS marriage and counseling professionals as well as the real-life stories from couple interviewees, but because <i>Behind the Smiling Faces</i> tries to cover too much it’s not quite right for any specific audience.Jennifer Rickshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02992263867559216358noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-463950869885159413.post-56716708487096685632008-12-02T11:38:00.000-08:002009-12-28T07:45:14.705-08:00Our Very First, Very Best Christmas<div><br /><br /><div><img style="MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 158px; FLOAT: right; HEIGHT: 206px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5278576738955259618" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVj3qOyItEj5jVWarIGuEewxHTqQJ7V-O99y2_gbkLA1xYzsLccAfIA7RDKetu-c9TzBLIFiDeiN-wYFjr6XUkwlv0qvTlwA0VQP04CcvEOI9yQjQj5VL9w7RFuTpsr4-ZxrCd0ARSTqQ/s320/tissues.bmp" />It was a terrible day. I woke up at five in the morning aching all over and with a terrible sore throat. It was two days before Christmas, my Christmas—the Christmas I had been waiting to start remembering my whole life: my husband and my first Christmas, one day before our seven-month anniversary.<br /><br />But it wasn’t a good day. I spent it lying on the couch while my husband, Brian, made me soup and hot chocolate and did all the dishes by himself. Meanwhile, I stared at the Christmas tree, wondering what type of Christmas magic had betrayed me to this fate, and fretting that we wouldn’t be able to go to the family holiday parties like we had planned.<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhR2tXaaXWTtxnZIJ5pmPF09PbDTvOEPyTAlWbeyFrQysyx1GSeGGmZTmVTTUeoCc1KaIeP_Ji32yDYzRWgeur7hyphenhyphencIeWu5_bl-hePeEd13ajvNQMyqi6sxxvuvb0ld8kC6fsyjjqSKetg/s1600-h/red+stars.bmp"><img style="MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 212px; FLOAT: left; HEIGHT: 135px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5278577016314129186" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhR2tXaaXWTtxnZIJ5pmPF09PbDTvOEPyTAlWbeyFrQysyx1GSeGGmZTmVTTUeoCc1KaIeP_Ji32yDYzRWgeur7hyphenhyphencIeWu5_bl-hePeEd13ajvNQMyqi6sxxvuvb0ld8kC6fsyjjqSKetg/s320/red+stars.bmp" /></a>By nine o’clock that night my body was weary of everything—rest, food, and a whole day between sleeping and waking. Even though I was exhausted, my mind wasn’t at rest and I couldn’t sleep. This cold was ruining everything. All I wanted was for us to have a perfect Christmas. I’d decorated the house during the first week of December. Our tree, though small, looked quite magical when lit. All our shopping was done; everything was ready, but now I was sick.<br /><a href="http://segullah.org/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/nativity1.jpg"></a><br />For at least the tenth time, I groaned myself out of bed to get a drink. We’d been in bed for hours already, but neither of us had gotten very much sleep yet because I was so restless. Walking back from the kitchen through our tiny living room, I could just barely make out the dark shape of our four-foot, borrowed, artificial Christmas tree.<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIin5Aqx1YAJEC8Oq2rjIv8hFp_7CtVHAxZdHQ8IhF4ZJOvEH9zblFJ3Yk-jeTkAg_mt7pfeyOqFec8Q4nRXzVvQTAL4OtgReZhXHpuS464zsHKL76DhXebUXRw_9_ZJF58HQLyZr9hVg/s1600-h/tree+ornament.bmp"></a>Even though I couldn’t see it in the dark, at the top of the tree was an ornament I had made long ago in Young Women’s—a nativity picture cut from a Christmas card, hot-glued inside a Mason <a href="http://segullah.org/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/nativity1.jpg"><img style="MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 189px; FLOAT: left; HEIGHT: 319px; CURSOR: hand" border="0" alt="" src="http://segullah.org/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/nativity1.jpg" /></a>jar ring, and the whole thing tied with a bow. All the sudden I thought, what was Mary and Joseph’s first Christmas like? Not only was it their first Christmas as a couple, it was the very first Christmas that the entire world had ever had. As I thought of Mary, delivering her firstborn child in a damp and dirty cave, with nothing but prickly straw for bedding, suddenly having a cold didn’t seem so bad. I thought of the picture on the homemade ornament, of how Mary and Joseph smiled, beamed, so loving down at the infant child.<br /><br />Why would Mary smile? Did she know that her very own baby would one day feel all the pain that she had felt that night, would one day suffer for all the sins of the world, the world which had left him homeless and friendless for most of his life? Suddenly I realized that while a little cold had thwarted what I thought was important for this Christmas—all the trappings, presents, and holiday cheer—weren’t really the meaning of Christmas at all. What Christmas really means is our gratitude for the Son of God who was born of Mary as an innocent infant. Though he stayed innocent all his life, he took the punishment for all our sins—for yours and for mine. Keeping Christmas doesn’t mean decorating my house and baking sweet treats, it means remembering Jesus Christ in thought and deed.<br /><br />As I crawled back into bed, my mind was heavy with quiet, sober, but happy thoughts—thoughts akin to those that made Mary smile just minutes after intense travail. What came to my mind wasn’t the tune of “Jingle Bells” or “Deck the Halls,” but the words <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhM6VqpsdkySQqo5RQZZbWRk5UhATZLlMb0k7XekBjkGVuG6Qleosx0MPAt115yHin-oabUW6dpM4QMmKc8C-WItoTSxtfUgbflchcaEsqy8U9mTn4u6rtI8vw4gG0Kajt7KnvsEbgpmWk/s1600-h/christmas+star.bmp"><img style="MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 203px; FLOAT: right; HEIGHT: 282px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5278576743148457346" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhM6VqpsdkySQqo5RQZZbWRk5UhATZLlMb0k7XekBjkGVuG6Qleosx0MPAt115yHin-oabUW6dpM4QMmKc8C-WItoTSxtfUgbflchcaEsqy8U9mTn4u6rtI8vw4gG0Kajt7KnvsEbgpmWk/s320/christmas+star.bmp" /></a>of John 3:16, “For God so loved the world that he gave his only Begotten Son; that whoso believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” This time it was me, instead of someone in those cliché Christmas movies, who was learning what Christmas is all about: the love of God and the love of Jesus Christ.<br /><br />As I started falling asleep again, sore throat, fever, and all, I quietly whispered, “I love you,” to my husband.<br /><br />“Really?” he whispered back, so softly.<br /><br />I nodded once then, realizing he couldn’t see me in the dark, smiled and said, “Yes.”<br /><br />It really was going to be the best Christmas.</div></div>Jennifer Rickshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02992263867559216358noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-463950869885159413.post-46881576237606869942008-07-31T17:00:00.000-07:002008-12-11T09:00:00.968-08:00Housekeeping Can Mean LoveWhen my husband and I took the Marriage and Family Relations class for Sunday school, it seemed like every time someone talked about disagreements in marriage they mentioned doing the dishes. I turned to my <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-_6APRN3ZC0Ve_g1Qb5FEx-WrGI5itpWOvbioEHFsh7QopcRgS4V1aWkMvwcP9-19ptdk-RquIP9q_ChQtZlFYFwcBjq22eoTO_fK8Ys8mz3p4cS9CPglteyjouhtca6grT0yydJb0S0/s1600-h/love+birds.bmp"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5229611931419320146" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-_6APRN3ZC0Ve_g1Qb5FEx-WrGI5itpWOvbioEHFsh7QopcRgS4V1aWkMvwcP9-19ptdk-RquIP9q_ChQtZlFYFwcBjq22eoTO_fK8Ys8mz3p4cS9CPglteyjouhtca6grT0yydJb0S0/s200/love+birds.bmp" border="0" /></a>husband and raised my eyebrows. He shrugged. We didn’t squabble about doing the dishes—actually quite the contrary. Sometimes we fought over who got to do them. This was because we learned that housekeeping can mean love.<br /><br />We all have certain chores that we hate. Growing up, my brothers hated cleaning out the rain gutters. My sisters and I hated pulling weeds. Even my wonderful mother hated ironing. House and yard keeping chores are so repetitive and overwhelming that they often make the whole family grumpy. My mom’s tricks to make chores fun for individuals (like watching her favorite movie while she ironed) or creating games and races to get all her kids to work together to clean up (with a promised reward of fresh cookies afterward) don’t have the same charm for work that has to be divided between spouses, especially when it’s just the two of you.<br /><br />When I was first married, I wanted to be a super housewife. I wanted everything cooked and cleaned to perfection so my husband would always be completely comfortable. I wanted to dote on and pamper <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5eKJjf7JJGI4SOEyW_MamWeOxEiurjISG5_kIrhFs2AG8SKLAS3FCU1Jui9SGvkILTFL8XvbqCqcSJMcZ9l8qhd8vel6bFejZxg-DafBxfWOViz1t9sK04NBD8FpESNBK3qoV6Vw6q0U/s1600-h/bucket.bmp"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5229612409613201554" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5eKJjf7JJGI4SOEyW_MamWeOxEiurjISG5_kIrhFs2AG8SKLAS3FCU1Jui9SGvkILTFL8XvbqCqcSJMcZ9l8qhd8vel6bFejZxg-DafBxfWOViz1t9sK04NBD8FpESNBK3qoV6Vw6q0U/s200/bucket.bmp" border="0" /></a>him just like the women in 1950s TV shows always did. But after about two weeks, as we both started full-time jobs, then I found that I couldn’t do it all—tidying, cooking, washing, folding, vacuuming, scrubbing, wiping, dusting—so many chores and we didn’t even have kids yet!<br /><br />Before I started going crazy with all the work, thankfully my husband came to me and said that he wanted to help. Because I’m naturally an overzealous perfectionist, it was hard for me to let him help at first. I knew that I could do any chore faster and more effectively than he could and just the way I wanted it done in my own house, but I also didn’t have the time or energy to do everything on my own. When my husband came to me and asked me how he could help with the housework, I gave his request some real thought. It was probably selfish, but I asked him to make the bed every morning. Making the bed isn’t a very difficult chore so I felt comfortable giving him the small responsibility, but this request was also selfish because for whatever reason I’ve always hated making beds.<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdCRVsgeG4CdqbT2SvHP0RKmLLwH9bGqbRjCCLiUGATeCoPkY_aHzfUzIz8f9YzL7zeRs7qnzr0pFeoFdg5VpyNk9uWotYccP51FHoCiEptMQWknwJCPxIKtkBa3SgAxZCHhvZEphNxYc/s1600-h/couple.bmp"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5229611936191587010" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdCRVsgeG4CdqbT2SvHP0RKmLLwH9bGqbRjCCLiUGATeCoPkY_aHzfUzIz8f9YzL7zeRs7qnzr0pFeoFdg5VpyNk9uWotYccP51FHoCiEptMQWknwJCPxIKtkBa3SgAxZCHhvZEphNxYc/s200/couple.bmp" border="0" /></a><br />Brian responded to my request like the lovesick newlywed that he was. Like a sweet child, he was so proud to help me and to contribute to the housework. I felt bad at first because I thrust the chore I most dreaded on him so I wouldn’t have to do it. I’ve since learned that I didn’t have any reason to feel guilty. Making beds wasn’t such a bad chore to him as it was to me. As he faithfully fulfilled this small responsibility every day, he felt needed and that he was contributing to my happiness. I felt that he was too. Every time he made the bed, he was saying, “I love you.” Every time he made the bed I could feel that he loved me.<br /><br />This simple delegation of housework was the beginning of how we learned that housekeeping can mean love. Since those <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpWEsyqU_ora9I3JdcczCuWRE8ppOl-9MXvDWTwVzi5aD5WTBhUzWynxD25KZKvBKMAAP2w8okC3ElSUCfGWYn7dcv2vFgHXVDv1EL3DrqKknNUpKsRA-_3_ZBzOdOHed2mXzfDvNA2ek/s1600-h/cleaning.bmp"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5229612415959749298" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpWEsyqU_ora9I3JdcczCuWRE8ppOl-9MXvDWTwVzi5aD5WTBhUzWynxD25KZKvBKMAAP2w8okC3ElSUCfGWYn7dcv2vFgHXVDv1EL3DrqKknNUpKsRA-_3_ZBzOdOHed2mXzfDvNA2ek/s200/cleaning.bmp" border="0" /></a>first few weeks, we’ve developed a routine that keeps both of us involved in the housework. That doesn’t mean that it’s strictly even because we have different schedules, preferences, and abilities, but we are always working together, at least at heart. Brian continues to make the bed every morning. He also vacuums the entire apartment on Saturday and empties the dishwasher whenever he’s home and it needs to be done. He doesn’t have any other “assigned” chores, but I know that he’s willing to help me with any work projects around the house that I can think of. Reciprocally, when I can tell he’s tired and needs a restful evening, I rush to do the dishes all by myself because I know that he’ll do the same for me on my hard days and I want to tell him that I love him.<br /><br />In our first year of marriage, we didn’t have a dishwasher, so <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnvxhxvYMeXvdzSu-B8tJcP7aQzlcfjiFdmvI0TR-dVaptXe4ZouhwSc99xNb9ZTtT_d8Bb_6QyQHvWdtaVR8LugrdLLrkdsjkopgKZA-2tOPQtsb-Mq2-4mCcOOpdweJJ0P75OAmBxoo/s1600-h/love.bmp"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5229611947251355490" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnvxhxvYMeXvdzSu-B8tJcP7aQzlcfjiFdmvI0TR-dVaptXe4ZouhwSc99xNb9ZTtT_d8Bb_6QyQHvWdtaVR8LugrdLLrkdsjkopgKZA-2tOPQtsb-Mq2-4mCcOOpdweJJ0P75OAmBxoo/s200/love.bmp" border="0" /></a>doing dishes took a lot of time. I found that there was a moment of decision when the sink was full of dirty dishes. Do I leave them and ask Brian to do them when he comes home, or do I do them now so that neither of us will have to worry about them later? I think I’m right to say that I don’t have to always choose to do them myself; some days I am tired and what I really need is for him to come home and say “I love you” by helping me with housekeeping. However, on other days, I need to buckle down and do the work to say “I love you” to him. By realizing that housekeeping can mean love, it is love, selflessness, and honesty, not laziness or selfishness, that makes the decision about how to divide up the housework, and that work, and love, brings us closer together.Jennifer Rickshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02992263867559216358noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-463950869885159413.post-20825671219748671172008-06-26T16:56:00.000-07:002008-09-12T10:55:58.943-07:00Our Family Journal<meta equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 12"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 12"><link rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5Cbricks%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><link rel="Edit-Time-Data" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5Cbricks%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_editdata.mso"><!--[if !mso]> <style> v\:* {behavior:url(#default#VML);} o\:* 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spt="75" preferrelative="t" path="m@4@5l@4@11@9@11@9@5xe" filled="f" stroked="f"> <v:stroke joinstyle="miter"> <v:formulas> <v:f eqn="if lineDrawn pixelLineWidth 0"> <v:f eqn="sum @0 1 0"> <v:f eqn="sum 0 0 @1"> <v:f eqn="prod @2 1 2"> <v:f eqn="prod @3 21600 pixelWidth"> <v:f eqn="prod @3 21600 pixelHeight"> <v:f eqn="sum @0 0 1"> <v:f eqn="prod @6 1 2"> <v:f eqn="prod @7 21600 pixelWidth"> <v:f eqn="sum @8 21600 0"> <v:f eqn="prod @7 21600 pixelHeight"> <v:f eqn="sum @10 21600 0"> </v:formulas> <v:path extrusionok="f" gradientshapeok="t" connecttype="rect"> <o:lock ext="edit" aspectratio="t"> </v:shapetype><v:shape id="_x0000_s1026" type="#_x0000_t75" style="'position:absolute;" wrapcoords="8100 900 7618 1688 7521 2700 1639 9000 -96 11475 -96 12375 771 13500 13404 21262 14175 21262 21214 11700 21504 11025 21311 10350 20539 9900 20539 7312 18514 6525 15911 6300 16393 4838 15814 4500 13018 4500 11861 2700 10414 1688 8968 900 8100 900"> <v:imagedata 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I never thought that a General Conference talk could still impact my life this much a year later. As the first talk in the Sunday Morning session of the October 2007 General Conference of the Church, President Eyring taught the members of the Church by example “to find ways to recognize and remember God’s kindness” (<i style="">Ensign</i>, Nov. 2007, 67). As President Eyring related to us the account of his first inspiration to begin keeping a family journal and how keeping the family journal was a daily blessing for him as he “became ever more certain that our Heavenly Father hears and answers prayers” and “felt more gratitude for the softening and refining that [came] because of the Atonement of the Savior Jesus Christ,” President Eyring also shared that that his family journal has since been a blessing years later to his sons as “reading of what happened long ago helped [them] notice something God had done in [their] day.”</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in; line-height: 150%;">
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mso-font-signature:-1610611985 1107304683 0 0 159 0;} @font-face {font-family:Perpetua; panose-1:2 2 5 2 6 4 1 2 3 3; mso-font-charset:0; mso-generic-font-family:roman; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:3 0 0 0 1 0;} /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-unhide:no; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman","serif"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} .MsoChpDefault {mso-style-type:export-only; mso-default-props:yes; font-size:10.0pt; mso-ansi-font-size:10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size:10.0pt;} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.0in 1.0in 1.0in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;} </style> <![endif]--><span style="font-size: 12.5pt; font-family: "Perpetua","serif";">After hearing President Eyring’s talk, I knew that this was the perfect use for a wedding gift that had been dormant for months. One of my former Young Women’s advisors had given us a beautiful wedding gift: a leather-bound journal with gold-edged pages and an artistically textured cover. She also pasted our wedding announcement in the inside cover of the book to make it especially ours. I knew that such a wonderful gift deserved a wonderful purpose and all summer I had been brainstorming how we could use the journal and put the gift to good use. I toyed with a lot of ideas in my mind, but nothing ever stuck or gave me enough motivation to begin writing in the journal. The summer ended and we were well into autumn before the answer of what to do with the beautiful journal came where I least expected it, in President Eyring’s talk.
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{size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.0in 1.0in 1.0in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;} </style> <![endif]--><span style="font-size: 12.5pt; font-family: "Perpetua","serif";">After</span><span style="font-size: 12.5pt; font-family: "Perpetua","serif";"> General Conference, my husband and I prayerfully decided that we should follow President Eyring’s example and use our wedding gift to start our own family journal. While President Eyring used his family journal to write down “evidence of what God had done” for his family each day, we decided that we needed to use our family journal to write down a moment when we were happy each day. Every night we take turns and each write a sentence or two in our family journal about a happy event that day. We have found that by writing in our family journal we have been more grateful for the many blessings that Heavenly Father gives us each day. As we approach General Conference this year, I’m excited to have a year’s worth of entries in our family journal. Soon I’ll be able to look back and see what blessings had come into our lives exactly a year ago. This exercise has been important in motivating us to keep important family records and has helped us draw closer as a family as we seek to recognize the daily blessings that the Lord gives to us.
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</v:formulas> <v:path extrusionok="f" gradientshapeok="t" connecttype="rect"> <o:lock ext="edit" aspectratio="t"> </v:shapetype><v:shape id="_x0000_s1026" type="#_x0000_t75" style="'position:absolute;"> <v:imagedata src="file:///C:\DOCUME~1\bricks\LOCALS~1\Temp\msohtmlclip1\01\clip_image001.wmz" title="MCj04120300000[1]"> <w:wrap type="square"> </v:shape><![endif]--><!--[if !vml]--><span style="font-size: 12.5pt; line-height: 150%; font-family: "Perpetua","serif";">In beginning a family journal of your own, you could do as President Eyring </span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3cEhlFZf75UZYAMJJfVbsQicJ4c2zvhyHQ43B-pd0lqSwD9dI0Wq2ZHRFQU974guNKQYv51zzJ0xDkyJIht2zgOmUaTE0h9KOULPug6Yon9V37E6bzdPEJesWrstP5Py6JA3X-VAWRKU/s1600-h/family+journal.bmp"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5216343885858424242" style="margin: 0px 0px 10px 10px; float: right;" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3cEhlFZf75UZYAMJJfVbsQicJ4c2zvhyHQ43B-pd0lqSwD9dI0Wq2ZHRFQU974guNKQYv51zzJ0xDkyJIht2zgOmUaTE0h9KOULPug6Yon9V37E6bzdPEJesWrstP5Py6JA3X-VAWRKU/s200/family+journal.bmp" border="0" /></a><span style="font-size: 12.5pt; line-height: 150%; font-family: "Perpetua","serif";">did and ask: “Have I seen the hand of God reaching out to touch us or our children or our family today?” </span><span style="font-size: 12.5pt; line-height: 150%; font-family: "Perpetua","serif";">Or, you could personalize the idea of a family journal and prayerfully adapt it to your own family’s needs. </span><span style="font-size: 12.5pt; line-height: 150%; font-family: "Perpetua","serif";">This could mean a happiness journal, a gratitude journal, a journal of family spiritual experiences, or a blessings journal. As you seek his inspiration, the Lord will bless you with promptings of how you can better keep baptismal covenants as a family to always remember him. President Eyring has promised us that as we “will find a way to preserve [memories of God’s messages] for the day that [we], and those that [we] love, will need to remember how much God loves us how much we need Him,” these memories “will soften [our] hearts to allow the Holy Ghost to testify to [us].”<o:p></o:p></span></p> </div></div>Jennifer Rickshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02992263867559216358noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-463950869885159413.post-63362176814494070002008-05-30T11:00:00.000-07:002008-07-09T09:30:50.496-07:00White or Wheat? Whole or Skim?<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXDpyh8vcRL4oTxVt61bVAr1en2OZD0gyVJrPoCbKcBUfs59cYkQlRcGfwcL2h5oeb8HDqEsimgqEAdj6ZZ5mZDXDxN1dC1aZdQs4ZSfkVfVykPzzvvL3CEXSeWo5SMXbh3DWj-L1mkHU/s1600-h/P5300041.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5206317808802170802" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXDpyh8vcRL4oTxVt61bVAr1en2OZD0gyVJrPoCbKcBUfs59cYkQlRcGfwcL2h5oeb8HDqEsimgqEAdj6ZZ5mZDXDxN1dC1aZdQs4ZSfkVfVykPzzvvL3CEXSeWo5SMXbh3DWj-L1mkHU/s200/P5300041.JPG" border="0" /></a><br /><p class="MsoNormal" style="LINE-HEIGHT: 200%">Even before our wedding day, I knew that all marriages require a certain amount of adjustment, and as I thought about what changes our individual lives would have to make to be compatible with each other and unified as a couple, I felt like I was very prepared for marriage.</p><br /><p class="MsoNormal" style="LINE-HEIGHT: 200%"><span style="font-size:0;"></span>In fact, I thought I was ahead of the game. Not only had I already discussed toothpaste and cleaning supplies with my fiancé, but I had paid attention throughout our courtship to our respective food choice habits. Well, actually the differences in our diet where quite obvious: Brian ate white bread and I ate wheat; Brian drank whole milk and I drank skim. Whenever we made dinner together before we were married I solved the problem by always having Brian over to my apartment. He never complained about skim milk and wheat bread at my house, and I was sure that over time he would just get more and more used to my food choices and everything would work out for the healthiest best.</p><br /><p class="MsoNormal" style="LINE-HEIGHT: 200%"><span style="font-size:0;"></span>The afternoon following my first trip to the grocery store after we were married spurred a big wake-up call. I was so excited to have done the shopping all by myself and pulled Brian around the kitchen showing him everything I had bought. He approved of my pasta and canned vegetables selection, but when I opened the bread cupboard his face fell. When I opened the fridge I could see the fear of starvation written all over his face.</p><br /><p class="MsoNormal" style="LINE-HEIGHT: 200%"><span style="font-size:0;"></span>My face fell too. I couldn’t understand why wheat bread and fat-free milk mattered so much. I had assumed that we were already unified in food choices and that Brian would easily change his habits to match mine, but I was wrong. To temporarily fix the problem, we took another trip to the store later that week and got a second loaf of bread (white) and a second gallon of milk (whole).</p><br /><p class="MsoNormal" style="LINE-HEIGHT: 200%"><span style="font-size:0;"></span>It took me that whole first summer and a lot of reflection since to realize that adjustments in marriage were going to take much more work than I had originally thought. The issue wasn’t figuring out everything that we needed to collaborate on; the effort was going to have to come from me. If my marriage was going to be unified and free from contention, I needed to humble myself and make some changes too instead of expecting all the sacrifices to come from my husband. Elder James E. Faust taught what we need to do in order to unify our marriage relationship: “Unity of heart and mind is manifest in sincere expressions of ‘I appreciate you’ and ‘I am proud of you.’ Such domestic harmony results from forgiving and forgetting, essential elements of a maturing marriage relationship. . . . True charity ought to begin in marriage, for it is a relationship that must be rebuilt every day” (<i>Ensign</i>, May 1993, 36).</p><br /><p class="MsoNormal" style="LINE-HEIGHT: 200%"><span style="font-size:0;"></span>The more significant changes that came as we became unified as a married couple were much more important than milk or bread. We soon found that we needed to be unified in how we observed the Sabbath day, fast Sunday, Family Home Evening, family prayer, family scripture study, and temple attendance. We learned how to adjust to each other’s needs and habits in all spiritual matters to that we could enrich each other rather than be divided. We especially learned the truth of President Marion G. Romney’s words: “There is but one way that we can be united, that way is to seek the Lord and his righteousness. Unity comes by following the light from above. . . . The way to unity is for us to learn the will of the Lord and then to do it” (<i>Ensign</i>, May 1983, 17).</p><br /><p class="MsoNormal" style="LINE-HEIGHT: 200%"><span style="font-size:0;"></span>New differences between my husband and me in taste, personality, and preference come up often, no matter how long we’ve been married. Instead of assuming that these differences are problems and challenges, we’ve learned to look at them as ways to make our life together and relationship interesting. We also try to see differences as opportunities for us to learn about each other and, by overcoming those differences, as opportunities to strengthen our marriage. By constantly remaining committed and constant to one another, with the help of the Holy Ghost to prompt us to draw closer together as we draw closer to the Savior, we have learned that even though we may never have the exact same taste in food choices, we can be unified in important spiritual things while still enjoying some differences.</p><br /><p class="MsoNormal" style="LINE-HEIGHT: 200%"><span style="font-size:0;"></span>Over our first summer, Brian, to his own surprise not to mention my own, learned to like wheat bread. I learned how to make and eat breakfast because he felt that was really essential. However, we still buy two different gallons of milk every week, and we’ve decided that that’s okay. Because unity in our marriage is important to us and so are our differences, we can make a good situation out of anything by “having [our] hearts knit together in unity and in love one towards another” (Mosiah 18:21).</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="LINE-HEIGHT: 200%"><span style="font-size:85%;"><em>* Leave a comment! What differences in taste and preference have you worked through in your marriage?</em></span></p>Jennifer Rickshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02992263867559216358noreply@blogger.com2